Get the Small Talk Right!


Easy Ways to be Confident Talking to People

Small talk can be a big problem for many people yet for some its really easy. What is it and how do they do it?

Here are some strategies you can try to put other people at their ease and feel confident socially:

Go prepared with six questions to ask –   typically

Who are you?

Where are you from?

What do you do?

Who do we both know?

To get more detail remember TED Tell Me – Explain – Describe when you want to get them to go into more detail and length about what it is they are interested in.

Asking questions is THE Secret tip in managing small talk.

Subjects you can move on to include something you know they know about – i.e. the Venue, the weather, whats just just happened whats going to happen : the venue, the food, the occasion, the weather (yes, talking about the weather is a cliche, but it works). “How do you know our host?” “What brings you to this event?” But keep it on the positive side! Unless you really know the person well avoid wisecracks at anyones expense especially your own. Sometimes you don’t know who you are talking to and how important they could be to you.


We are adapted to learn from and through stories. What os everyone talking about? – just listen to the radio check google or the BBC site and pick up an interesting tale to tell.

When you ask questions make sure you are asking open questions which give you info, more stuff to talk about, and make other people feel relaxed.

LISTEN and Respond to what a person says reflect back to them what they have just said.

Ask for, learn, and use their names! 

Your aim is not to tell them all about you – they’ll ask you questions right back. get them to talk about themselves and then they’ll start to relax and when you show you are learning their names they’ll like you and remember you positively.